Filthy
by myLITTLEnekoSHIRO
Summary: Like I'm chasing something that can never exist. But it does exist. I mean, he really exists. And he isn't just pure. He's gorgeous. Kira Izuru.


**Because this is one couple that's overlooked and is the perfect angst material. Plus I think it's one of the saddest and most beautiful tragic relationships. Plus plus there just aren't enough of these and I'm going to fix that!**

Filthy, filthy, filthy.

Everything is _so_ filthy.

The shinigami's are filthy.

The captains are filthy.

The Gotei is filthy.

Soul Society is filthy.

Humanity is…filthy.

They don't know what's right. They don't know what's real love. They don't know anything. They just wallow in their filth and don't even think of helping themselves. They just want to drown in their filth.

It makes me sick. I crave something pure every single time I see filth. I crave it so badly, I think I'm obsessed. It's so hard to find something pure and innocent and clean in this filthy, filthy world. It's almost impossible. Like I'm chasing something that can never exist.

But it does exist. I mean, _he_ really exists. And he isn't just pure. He's gorgeous.

Kira Izuru.

I saw him one day, just ambling about with his filthy, filthy friends. He stood out like a sore thumb. Like a very beautiful swan among gargoyles. He took my breath away. His fair, peaches and cream skin; his baby blue sparkling eyes; his feather soft sunshine hair. Kami, I think you made him to torture humanity and make them feel guilty. Because no one can look that pure. And yet, there he was.

I wanted him.

'I have chosen my fukutaicho, Yamamoto-san,' I announced one day at a meeting. After all, every taicho needed one and we had full right to choose ours. 'I wish to have Kira Izuru.'

There was a murmur. Apparently Kira Izuru was one of the best students at the Shinigami Academy. I had chosen wisely.

Of course I had chosen wisely, idiotic fucks. He is a treasure worth possessing. He is above you all.

And he now belongs to me.

'Thank you for choosing me as your fukutaicho, Ichimaru taicho,' Kira praised when I called him into my office one day. He sat on his legs and bowed before me. 'I promise I won't ever disobey you and follow you till the end!'

'Is that so?' I remarked and leaned forward. 'Well then, if I told you to do something completely outrageous would you do it?'

'If Ichimaru taicho asked me I would! I am your fukutaicho now!'

'Strip.'

'Wh-what?'

'Are you disobeying me, Kira?'

'N-n-no! I-I just…I wasn't sure what you asked me to-!'

'I asked you to strip, Kira. Didn't you say that you'd never disobey me? Or was that a lie? Ne?'

He blushed the most delicious red I could ever imagine. Even redder than a freshly picked persimmon. It complimented his snowy skin beautifully, especially when he undid his obi to reveal that the blush had spread across his lean chest.

'Your hakama too, Kira,' I said casually, cradling my chin in my hand as I watched my fukutaicho humiliate himself. He was just so sweet and innocent and I was just dying to break him.

His hands trembled as he clutched the edge of it. Then, exhaling shakily, he let it drop, hiding nothing now. I leaned back to bask in his beauty. I licked my lips and raked his body hungrily with my eyes. It was far more gorgeous than I could ever imagine.

I wanted to touch him.

'Come here,' I purred and crooked my finger at him as if calling a pet. Well, he was one, wasn't he?

He was taking too long and I was getting impatient. I swept forward, knocking him to the ground, and proceeded to crawl on top of him.

'W-w-wait!' he cried out weakly and attempted to push me off. 'Ich-Ichimaru taicho! Wh-what are you doing-!'

'What does it look like, Kira?' I answered in delight and touched that soft, soft skin. My hands were everywhere. There was not an inch of him I hadn't touched. He squirmed and tried to escape but when I growled, he stopped struggling and started blinking a lot instead. It was then I noticed that he was trying not to cry.

I laughed.

'Why are you crying, little Kira?' I murmured in his ear and caught a whiff of peppermint from his hair. My mouth watered; I bit into his ear lobe and was surprised to actually _taste_ peppermint there.

'What are you scared of, Kira? It's just me. It's just your taicho. Why are you so scared of me? I just want to appreciate you.'

That just made his tears flow more quickly and his body shake more uncontrollably. He kept trying to bring his knees together. To hide himself from me. I tsked and pushed his legs further apart.

'You're most beautiful down there, little Kira,' I whispered. 'Why are you trying to hide your beauty from me? I'll actually be able to admire it like no one ever has. I'll worship your beauty. _I'll make you mine and mine alone.'_

I took him rough and hard right there. He was unbelievably tight and hot. Each thrust hurt but the way his hole squeezed my cock sent pleasure shooting up my spine and made my mind spin. I felt like I was melting inside him.

And the noises he was making made me delve all the deeper inside him. And don't get me started on his aroused face. Those perfectly parted shell pink lips kept uttering sweet notes that rose and fell like a beautiful symphony. I just wished he'd kept his eyes open so I could see those unfathomable blue eyes. All I could see were tears.

Well, I suppose you can't have everything. I even marred that porcelain skin with my teeth. Just to let him know that he's my property now. And that I will do this every time we are alone.

Every day, from that day onwards, Kira would carry out his duties as my fukutaicho; he would attend meetings, walk behind me wherever I went, did the paperwork, trained hard, and then, at night, he would come to my quarters where I would fuck him into my mattress. And every time, he would cry. Every time, he would leave after we are done, only to return tomorrow because it was his duty as my fukutaicho.

But I was dissatisfied. This wasn't enough. He wasn't mine. He was fighting me. He was avoiding me. He'd smile and laugh with his friends of filth but around me, he'd be solemn and unsmiling.

It pissed me off.

'Smile!' I growled one day while I was hammering away inside him.

'Ah…_ha_…ah…' he moaned, all clear thinking gone down the drain. But I was too angry to see that. I thought he was fighting me again. How _dare_ he fight me!

'Goddamn you, smile at me!' I grunted and thrust in harder and faster. He sensed the change because he began to wince in pain.

'Ichi-Ichimaru taicho!' he gasped and his hands flailed to grasp my sweaty neck. 'It…it hurts! S-stop! It really…ah!'

I gripped his wrists harshly and pinned them on the bed, continuing my assault. He kept crying out for me to stop but I ignored him. It got wetter and tighter inside him but I didn't dare look. My eyes were fixed on his whimpering face like he was wishing he was anywhere but here with me. I wanted to force his eyes open to look at me. I wanted him to acknowledge me. I needed his innocence.

Because I had none.

When I was finally done, I ejaculated deep inside him, jerking and sighing in satisfaction as I did. He just whimpered and twitched. I waited for my cock to soften before I slipped out of him. I saw blood and cum leak out of that abused entrance and stain the bed. I didn't flinch. He kept twitching and gasping.

I released his hands to wipe a few strands of those perfect locks from his sweaty forehead. Then, suddenly, he swatted my hands away. He rolled off and, grabbing his clothes, stomped towards the exit. He paused there and turned to me, his face contorted in anger and pain.

'I hate you!' he yelled and slammed the door behind him.

I watched the door before sighing and then stared at the bloody stain on my bed. I reached out and touched it, the wetness cold against my fingers. I lifted my hands to my face, the red standing out on my white hands.

How could something so innocent and pure live in such a tainted world? How can it survive the monsters that exist in it? How can it live every day knowing that a monster loves it and craves it? How can it _bear_ that?

I clench my hands into fists.

I'm tainted. I'm filthy. I'm a monster. I can never be cured.

Kira is pure. Kira is clean. Kira is life. He can cure me. That is why I must have him. Because he is my cure.

But…what if I taint him instead? His blood…his blood will be on my hands. I will destroy the thing I love the most.

I chuckled darkly and covered my face in my hands, smearing Kira's blood all over.

I should have known this would happen.

I should have known I'd fall in love with him.

I truly am a monster.

* * *

><p>'We'll be leaving soon, Gin,' Aizen mused one day as he walked along the little gardens of Soul Society. 'Is there anyone in particular you would like to recruit? Perhaps your fukutaicho? I've noticed that you're quite fond of him.'<p>

I smiled benignly as I nimbly stepped over a bridge across a small stream.

'He's just a toy, Aizen-sama,' I mused. 'I can always get a new one.'

* * *

><p>I heard the door shut softly behind me. I didn't have to look to see who it was.<p>

'Are you a masochist or something?' I uttered in a bored tone and turned around to see Kira sitting on his legs, staring at the floor. 'You know you can resign. You always had that choice and yet you never took it.' I leaned my cheek on my hand as I stared at him. 'Why?'

I saw his hands tighten in his hakama.

'To become a fukutaicho is a great honor,' he murmured. 'I…I had always wanted to become someone great in the Gotei. I wanted to be someone useful. So when I became your fukutaicho, I was thrilled. I have learned so much since then and I…I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful to you.' He looked me straight in the eye. 'I don't know why it had to be me. I don't know why you picked me as your partner when you could have any woman you desired. But you gave me the one thing I wanted so…I suppose the least I can do is give you what you want.'

I stared at him for a moment before chuckling. Then, I swooped in close and cupped his face in one hand.

'You are one naïve child, little Kira,' I muttered. 'So innocent and pure and _clean_. That look you're always wearing simply screams 'fuck me'.' He flinched and tried to move away but I brought his face closer to mine. 'Don't ever show it to anyone but me. Understood?'

He gulped before nodding. Then, I kissed him for the first time since I made him my fukutaicho. We made slow love this time. I took my time in pleasuring him, barely hitting his prostrate, teasing his body till he was begging for me to let him cum. He had my blood singing. So I kissed him. I kissed him so many times I think our lips had molded themselves so that they fit no one but our significant other's.

Whether he liked it or not, Kira belonged to me. He knew it; I knew it and it made him unhappy. There was nothing we could do to change our arrangement. What's done couldn't be undone now.

Not after everything we've been through.

* * *

><p>'It's time,' Aizen said smoothly and suddenly, the sky ripped open. The entire Gotei gasped as a horde of Guillians poured out and three individual beams of yellow light shone on the three traitors.<p>

'So long everyone!' I said cheerfully and waved to the shocked faces as I rose up into the abyss above. Then I caught sight of Kira's face. He wasn't shocked. He wasn't angry. He wasn't even relieved. He looked…like he was in pain.

Why? He was finally free. By my being in Soul Society, he had no choice but to obey me and my every whim. It was his duty.

But now…he was no longer obliged to me. I had given him the one thing he had wanted more than anything: to be free of the one he hated.

Our eyes met and neither of us moved. Then…

'I hate you…' he mouthed.

I nodded. I knew that. It's why I let him go.

Tears poured down his face.

'I hate you…for making me fall in love with you.'

I felt my smile disappear and I felt my heart stop. We just stared at each other until I was gone.

So…he didn't hate me for tainting him. He hated me for stealing his heart.

Just like I hated him for stealing mine.

* * *

><p>'Yes! <em>Ha…<em>just like that…_ah_…' Luppi cried out in ecstasy as I slammed into him again and again. I frowned and quickly pulled out. I tied up my obi and proceeded to leave his room. Startled, he suddenly sat up and glared at me.

'What the fuck?' he yelled. 'What the hell's your problem? We're right in the middle of fucking and you decide to leave! You cunt, finish what you started!'

'You're not worth it,' I answered shortly and opened the door.

'Not worth it!' he repeated shrilly. 'And just what makes me not 'worth it'!'

'You're filthy,' I leered at him with my mocking smile. 'And it disgusts me.'

I slammed the door behind me and left.

Filthy, filthy, filthy.

No matter where I go it's always filthy. I leave a trail of filth wherever I go, wherever I touch. I can no longer be clean or desire it.

The one pure thing in my life is something I can no longer possess. Because I don't want to taint it anymore.

I'm filthy.

And the thing I love the most, the person I love the most, the _boy_ I love the most, I want to protect him from the filth.

And so, I must protect him from myself.

Kira Izuru.


End file.
